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But once you get into the relationship, you realize things aren’t as they seemed. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse. In this scenario, your spouse is there to pray for you, put his or her arm around you, and walk with you.
Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: you will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god (more on this later). There is another dangerous mentality in Christian circles I want to address…”flirting to convert.” Look…Christians are called to be missionaries.
The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages). “The one” says you need to find the perfect person. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. You are asked to go from a mentality that says “End a relationship as soon as difficulty arises,” to one that says, “Don’t end the relationship regardless of the difficulty that arises.” That’s a tough switch to flip.
DEBRAFILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, relationship expert, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates.
But what I would say to these women is to stop simply complaining about the “jerks” in your life and instead do something about it. I know they’re out there, because I interact with them every single day through my blog and through the churches, colleges and conferences I visit.
Take responsibility for your relationships by investing your time in people who value you.
Stop Waiting Around and Start Living I recently read a Christian article that encouraged women to “wait on the men.” I’ll be honest, I totally yelled at my computer screen at some point during that article.
I’m was pretty sure Scripture encouraged us to wait on God, not men.