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Translation: When his ad says 'rugby player's build' he doesn't mean Jonny Wilkinson, he really means Johnny Vegas DISCRETION EXPECTED I'm married and don't want my wife to know.INDEPENDENT Lying, cheating commitment-phobic scum.
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A date would necessitate the removal of the roof and a whale sling. NOT INTO EMAIL TENNIS I need to secure a date as soon as possible, before you suss out what a tedious dullard I am. A woman's place is in the home and, more precisely, the kitchen - preferably cooking his meals and elbow deep in his dirty shirts. He'll order for you in a restaurant and pat you on the bottom and say 'don't you worry your pretty head about it' when you ask him about his day. Only to be pursued if you like men who moult all over your furniture. Speak slowly and clearly and always be within five minutes of a toilet.
Cuddling is very unlikely, although squashing is a distinct possibility. The good news is he travels for free and gets in half-price at the cinema. The sort of person you cross the road to avoid, even if the road is the M1 in the rushhour.
Similar to putting up with complaints, boyfriends and girlfriends are obligated to accompany on boring errands, such as renewing your drivers license or grocery shopping. When you are single you get to experience all this day to day boring crap alone. Instead of having deep conversations that only you and a significant other who knows you all to well could have, you are forced to have surface conversation with a slew of people you probably don't care about.
Boyfriends and girlfriends are usually pretty good at cutting each other off.
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