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Just imagine the miles of roads opening up with no traffic whatsoever.(Marco C.) My mother always told me there would be days like this.At one time, your last name reflected your heritage.'Johnson' was 'the son of John,' 'Carpenter' was an actual carpenter and 'Mason' was a bricklayer.Now that I think of it, that place was probably just a laundromat.
(Dwight Burke) I was visited by three ghosts this Christmas.So where the hell do you get a name like 'Lipshitz?' (Lori Petterson) My parents remember where they were when they heard Kennedy was shot. The closest thing we can get is remembering the time ALF was on "Hollywood Squares." (Tony Meyers) On the train the other day I overheard two teenagers saying Facebook had been ruined by the presence of all the "old people" who are keeping in touch with other old people, and they looked over at me. How many people could you have possibly lost track of already?lasting, that is, until that moment he realizes he'll have a pretty tough time collecting his winnings. Sabien) They say, "At Olive Garden, we treat you like family." And sure enough, a waitress jumped line in front of me at the restroom, a waiter borrowed my phone and didn't return it, and the cook got all testy when I complained that my order was wrong.(Lori Petterson) Women complain about the pain while giving birth.
(Dwight Burke) The best part about my birthday being on a weekday is having my co-workers seek me out and congratulate me.